So. Everyone out there who have ears know that Paula Abdul has left Idol. But the thing is, people are wondering who her replacement will be. Don’t you people get it? Kara DioGuardi is her replacement! Okay, sure, Paula and Kara are “friends” and they were happy to be judging together for one season. But the four judges thing? It just doesn’t work.

What really surprises me is that people want Paula instead of Kara. Why? Because Paula is more qualified? Because she has been on the show for so long? Face the facts, people: Kara has written and co-written countless songs. She can sing. If she doesn’t like how someone sang, she can go back and sing it for them the right way. 

And Paula? Nothing.

But the decision is final. On the Idol website, under “Judges Bios”, Paula is gone. There is a Simon Bio, a Randy bio, a Kara bio, and even a Ryan Bio. but no Paula.

It would not surprise me if the brought Paula back for a surprise twist, but for now, bye, Paula!

The contestants perform in groups at the Kodak Theater.

The show starts with people having trouble forming groups; at 11:15 pm people are still up practicing. Rose from last night is having trouble dealing with the people in her group. Others are also having troubles: “If you keep going off key then you’re a bad singer.” “You need to be more sensitive.”

Finally at 1 am, some people go to bed. But someone named Tatiana is joining and leaving groups. She keeps finding flaws in her peers and fights with a woman with bright dyed red hair.”We don’t need to be that dramatic… group hug!” some people say.

The next day, some groups have gone without sleep. People deal with lack of sleep in a lot of different ways. Some people “they’re just walking around with blank looks on their faces”. One woman wasn’t feeling too well and just stayed in bed while her group practiced. Most of the contestants, though, just had to tough it out.

“Forget the words, you’re out.” Simon stated before the 100 people performed. I don’t think that rapping will get you into the next round (the woman in group 1). They sang a pretty harmony and all of them went through.

Some contestants sang the wrong words (”doot-doo” instead of “you two”) and were eliminated.

I thought that Emily Wyne (with the pink hair and the green hat) and her group were pretty bad. Half of them went through, Emily went home. 

I loved when they showed Paula with evil laser eyes… that was pretty funny.

Looks like Simon isn’t really enjoying the contestants… “Horrible… excruciating… they’re all crap… that was an absolute total mess… chaotic… it’s like a succession of horrors… useless…has anyone got any advil?”

The group with Rose Flack, Jasmine the girl who sounds like Jordin Sparks, and Katrina the bikini girl did alright. Katrina and Rose went home, only Jasmine went though. Jasmine will go pretty far… maybe the top 20.

BYE BYE KATRINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bugs Bunny: Crunch, crunch, crunch… thats all, folks!

For the first time ever, two cities in one show. Twice the talent, two times the terrible, and double the danger. First up: San Juan, Puerto Rico.

There are many ways that contestants try to convince the judges that they are the American Idol. The first contestant used sympathy. She told the judges that she had quit her job to audition. Another example is bribery. I have seen episodes of AI where people give the judges their CDs, t-shirts, pictures, and songs. The last example is flattery. “I’m your biggest fan.” or “I love you, you’re my role model, you’re just so great.”

The first contestant that I thought was amazing was Jorge Nunez. From Carolina, Puerto Rico, he charmed the judges with his accented voice. 

One woman supposedly won most of 300 singing contests, but the judges were doubtful. She sang “I Surrender”. “So do we.” Simon said. She pleaded with the judges of her devotion to the show (flattery) and was crying. “Please, please?!?!?!” Obviously, she didn’t get through.

One woman actually brought a puppet named Simone to sing for the judges. Paging ventriloquists who want to audition for AI: DON’T!!!!!

Now New York.

While a woman named Jackie was performing, windows fell behind the judges and were this close:

I—————————————————————————-I

to hitting Simon. It was quite entertaining, actually. Jackie went through.

Someone named Joel came as the human ipod, or, as he liked to call it, the guy-pod. He had a horrible singing voice and ran out of the door screaming, “Yeah! I got a no! I got a no!! Woohoo!!!” and then jumped into the pool.

Ashley Hollister, Kendall Beard, and Kenny Hoffpauer were really good. 

One contestant brought her kid brother into the judging panel with her. As she was singing, Kara was nodding, but Simon kept stopping her. “At your age, I don’t know if your voice is fully developed yet.” from Kara, and “Very cabaret.” from Simon. The judges thought that she had great potential, so they put him through.

Thank you, and goodnight!