So. Everyone out there who have ears know that Paula Abdul has left Idol. But the thing is, people are wondering who her replacement will be. Don’t you people get it? Kara DioGuardi is her replacement! Okay, sure, Paula and Kara are “friends” and they were happy to be judging together for one season. But the four judges thing? It just doesn’t work.

What really surprises me is that people want Paula instead of Kara. Why? Because Paula is more qualified? Because she has been on the show for so long? Face the facts, people: Kara has written and co-written countless songs. She can sing. If she doesn’t like how someone sang, she can go back and sing it for them the right way. 

And Paula? Nothing.

But the decision is final. On the Idol website, under “Judges Bios”, Paula is gone. There is a Simon Bio, a Randy bio, a Kara bio, and even a Ryan Bio. but no Paula.

It would not surprise me if the brought Paula back for a surprise twist, but for now, bye, Paula!

For the first time ever, two cities in one show. Twice the talent, two times the terrible, and double the danger. First up: San Juan, Puerto Rico.

There are many ways that contestants try to convince the judges that they are the American Idol. The first contestant used sympathy. She told the judges that she had quit her job to audition. Another example is bribery. I have seen episodes of AI where people give the judges their CDs, t-shirts, pictures, and songs. The last example is flattery. “I’m your biggest fan.” or “I love you, you’re my role model, you’re just so great.”

The first contestant that I thought was amazing was Jorge Nunez. From Carolina, Puerto Rico, he charmed the judges with his accented voice. 

One woman supposedly won most of 300 singing contests, but the judges were doubtful. She sang “I Surrender”. “So do we.” Simon said. She pleaded with the judges of her devotion to the show (flattery) and was crying. “Please, please?!?!?!” Obviously, she didn’t get through.

One woman actually brought a puppet named Simone to sing for the judges. Paging ventriloquists who want to audition for AI: DON’T!!!!!

Now New York.

While a woman named Jackie was performing, windows fell behind the judges and were this close:

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to hitting Simon. It was quite entertaining, actually. Jackie went through.

Someone named Joel came as the human ipod, or, as he liked to call it, the guy-pod. He had a horrible singing voice and ran out of the door screaming, “Yeah! I got a no! I got a no!! Woohoo!!!” and then jumped into the pool.

Ashley Hollister, Kendall Beard, and Kenny Hoffpauer were really good. 

One contestant brought her kid brother into the judging panel with her. As she was singing, Kara was nodding, but Simon kept stopping her. “At your age, I don’t know if your voice is fully developed yet.” from Kara, and “Very cabaret.” from Simon. The judges thought that she had great potential, so they put him through.

Thank you, and goodnight!

Jacksonville, Florida!!!! I always thought that Jacksonville was in Arkansas… anyway, it’s where Randy Jackson made his name.

Sharon Wilber and her dog, Sasha charmed the judges when they first walked in. I thought that she was pretty good. Simon and Randy said yes, and then Kara covered her mouth and Paula attacked her and kissed her on the lips. Kara said that Kara thought she would be kissed by Simon, not Paula. Sharon went through to Hollywood.

Dana Moreno, 24, thought she was good, but Simon gave her directions out the door. “Right, then right.” Next were two 16-year-old girls. The first suc*ed, and the second was AWESOME!!!!!

‘Night!

P.S. I am extremely sorry- the server dropped in the middle of the post. I wrote much more that didn’t save. Hopefully this will not happen in the future. To get more info on this audition go to http://americanidol.com/

Thank you.